My love arrived at the plase yesterday night properly. He called me as he reach his mom's house.
It was scary for me to try asleep alone...and i'm so lazy  right now to start pack up my things for my trip to my granny's plase...i downloading true blood series in eng...
M. called me today and said that he's already at his previous work place and boss took him back even he knows it's only for a couple weeks.

My M. left me here alone today and flew away back to (fucking) Israel. For 3 weeks. It's such a long time!!! 20 days off, if to be accurate. I miss him already so much. Hi's in  the plain right now...flying...
Tomorrow i'll have to go to Yaroslavl with intent to finish all stuff with selling a room...
My diet all fucked up..as usual...nothing new here))I've been trying a couple days "to behave" normal and even have done some sports every day...but then again binge..stress..depressed...about being alone from 5 months now that i wasnt alone even for a day..it feels like i dont have hands anymore...or i cant breef..all that romantic loving stuff...real for me...i really love him...my wonderfull husband..my only one in the whole universe)) And again..i'm so frustraiting about his living me...even temporary.
And a question of all my life for my self is : When i'm fucking going to be more disciplined to myelf? I need to control my self every single day for all my life long damned. It's my curse. Everybody has one. We all have our cross to bear.

in 18th of july i got a resident permanent visa to Canada.
We are going there with my honey in 21st of august. yeeey))) We are so glad!! Such a relief))) We'v been waiting so long...11 months..Ofcours it was our mistake there too..
Weight stays on hold..i bought a diary and kept writing all things that i'v eaten for all week and all i'v burn and guess what? there is no profit at all!! i remember when i was loosing weight back then my profit was about 6000 or 7000cal per week (it means you should loose about 1 kg or 2.2 lb per week) wich i either way burn or just eat less then i should of. and now its abot 0 or even minus something. And this is i was even try to keep my diet. No wonder i'm not loosing any weight week by week. I'm not doing a shit.