My M. left me here alone today and flew away back to (fucking) Israel. For 3 weeks. It's such a long time!!! 20 days off, if to be accurate. I miss him already so much. Hi's in  the plain right now...flying...
Tomorrow i'll have to go to Yaroslavl with intent to finish all stuff with selling a room...
My diet all fucked up..as usual...nothing new here))I've been trying a couple days "to behave" normal and even have done some sports every day...but then again binge..stress..depressed...about being alone from 5 months now that i wasnt alone even for a day..it feels like i dont have hands anymore...or i cant breef..all that romantic loving stuff...real for me...i really love him...my wonderfull husband..my only one in the whole universe)) And again..i'm so frustraiting about his living me...even temporary.
And a question of all my life for my self is : When i'm fucking going to be more disciplined to myelf? I need to control my self every single day for all my life long damned. It's my curse. Everybody has one. We all have our cross to bear.